And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
