dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
