That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
