i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
