the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
