the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
