ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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