I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Someone came in the potted fern
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
