She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she woke up with a sticky ear
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
