lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
