There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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