Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Houston, we have a blender
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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