wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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