I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
