I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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