if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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