There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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