capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
