that's an acceptable place to lick
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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