He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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