Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
