Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude i'm inner monologue high
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
as a side note pls kill me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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