i wish starbucks made bloody marys
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
