Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
