Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
