her vagine was all disorganized.
Jerry, you need to find god
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
