I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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