Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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