just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
