Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
