it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
