I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
