god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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