Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
