so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
