I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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