u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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