I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
