Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
where am i from again
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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