I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
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