I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
