WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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