no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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