Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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