Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
