im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
