I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
