You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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