Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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