I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
